Extramarital affairs go against traditional moral concepts and social morality. It poses a great threat to individuals, families and society. It is a very headache-inducing issue of extramarital affairs.

The conclusion drawn from the analysis of cases of extramarital affairs in China in psychology shows that the main causes of extramarital affairs are as follows:

1. If married life makes people feel disappointed and dissatisfied, many people will look for other ways or stimuli to make their psychology satisfied and balanced. For instance, if marital life makes people feel lonely and bored, and the couple lacks a sense of intimacy and cannot bring joy to each other's lives, then a third party or an extramarital affair will have an opportunity to take advantage. Especially for those couples who have been living apart for a long time, seeing other couples all in pairs, loving and sweet, it is inevitable that they will feel lost and unbalanced in their hearts, and thus they are prone to seek other "tender places".

Another situation is that marital life is too monotonous and lacks novelty. Every day is filled with the same things and the same lifestyle. At this time, the relationship is likely to become dull and tasteless, and life has no fun either. In such circumstances, the novelty and excitement of extramarital affairs are more likely to stand out, capturing people's hearts and making them unable to extricate themselves from their infatuation.

2 The relationship between husband and wife is the foundation of marriage. If the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, it is very likely to lead to various problems in the marriage. If a couple lacks communication for a long time and their relationship is not harmonious, they are very likely to accept other temptations or seek other emotional comfort in order to seek compensation in their relationship.

3 Some couples have a good relationship at first, but over time they find that they have no common interests. For instance, the wife likes dancing while the husband only enjoys playing cards. The husband is fond of literature and art, while the wife is particularly fond of fashion trends. The wife has lofty ideals, but the husband is content with the status quo. The husband strives hard, but the wife shows no ambition. These differences in interests, hobbies and aspirations made the two have less and less in common and their paces are seriously inconsistent. If one meets a "kindred spirit" outside at this time, it is very likely to lead them into an extramarital affair.

4 Disharmony in sexual life is also one of the main reasons for the occurrence of extramarital affairs. A marriage cannot be maintained without a harmonious sex life. Even if the relationship between the two sides is excellent, how many people can lead a "Platonic love" life for a lifetime? At this point, it seems inevitable that an extramarital affair will occur.

5 Some people are very hard to define, especially when it comes to matters of love. They tend to fall in love with everyone they meet, and in the end, they don't even know who they are in love with. If this situation occurs before marriage, it might be understandable. However, once married, one has to be responsible for their partner and family. This kind of fickle mentality, coupled with an unsatisfactory married life, will cause changes even if the person one marries is the "most beloved one".

Because the old lover mostly highlights their shortcomings, while the new lover mostly highlights their strengths, comparing the strengths of others with the weaknesses of one's own lover, of course, one's lover will be much less outstanding, and the occurrence of extramarital affairs is thus inevitable.

6 Many TV dramas, films, books and other works have reflected the phenomenon of extramarital affairs. However, the focus of their descriptions is not necessarily on the negative effects of extramarital affairs, or they exaggerate the extramarital affairs of celebrities to make people accustomed to it and copy it in their own lives, causing many family and marital problems.

Psychological analysis

First, it's better to improve oneself than to daydream. Women's meticulousness, conscientiousness and sensitivity can give them an advantage over men in some aspects.

On the other hand, women also have shortcomings such as narrow-mindedness, suspicion, paranoia, perfectionism and emotional fragility. In our psychological counseling clinic, we often come across such cases: Case: When moving house, Rong 'er accidentally discovered a diary of her husband's past and learned about some of the things that happened between her husband and his lover in the past.

From then on, she questioned her husband every day about what was going on. Moreover, she read her diary over and over again, memorizing it by heart. Wherever she went, she would recall whether her husband had been here with others in the past, what he had done, and so on. This caused her great pain. She couldn't sleep all night long and had no heart to work during the day. Their children are all in primary school. Rong 'er doesn't want to divorce her husband, but she can't forgive him either. They torture each other like this, causing her husband great pain as well.

Analysis: Although many women do not have such extreme behaviors as mentioned above, they still often tend to doubt the loyalty of their husbands or boyfriends and spend a lot of energy on random thoughts. They not only lack trust in each other, but also lack confidence. I often ask them, "Life is limited. How much time do we have to truly consider our lives, work and entertainment? Is it worth spending so much time thinking about people and things that have nothing to do with us?" Some people will suddenly realize after hearing this and feel that they should think more about their own growth instead of watching their husbands like thieves and torturing themselves to the point of being mentally and physically exhausted. It's better to focus more on improving one's own quality and perfecting oneself than to look haggard.

Second, don't let yourself become a nagging woman. After marriage, a woman's attitude towards love will change somewhat. Unconsciously, she will show that she wants to subdue her husband instead of respecting him.

Newlyweds, while enjoying their sweet moments, can't avoid many quarrels, with the focus always on "who has the final say". Case: Xiao Guan and his wife have been married for just over half a year, but they have been arguing fiercely over some trivial matters. They are all highly educated intellectuals, usually gentle and refined, but when they quarrel at home, they present a completely different face. Why is that?

It turned out to be for the "leadership" in the family! Her husband was used to being free and easy before, leaving things around carelessly and not paying much attention to minor details. Xiao Guan couldn't tolerate this and insisted on reforming him. As soon as her husband came back, Xiao Guan stared at him, sometimes complaining that he hadn't washed the dishes clean and sometimes that he had thrown his socks around. She became more and more talkative. The husband thought that home was a place to relax, but as a result, he became even more tense than at work. Thus, he became less and less willing to go home, and his wife's complaints also increased, creating a vicious cycle.

Three, women's happiness comes from themselves. Women's emotions are rich and they tend to be sentimental. So, from whom should women's happiness come? - Many women complain that their husbands do not love them enough, are not romantic, considerate or understanding towards them, which makes them feel very troubled.